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The Ultimate Guide to Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

March 1, 2024 | riley
planning your wedding ceremony hero image

Image by MemoryBox Photography. Keep scrolling to see everything you need to know about planning your wedding ceremony

Planning your wedding ceremony can be one of the most daunting yet most rewarding parts of the entire wedding planning process. You get to choose readings, music, florals, seating options, backdrops, and everything in between–all to craft the perfect day to profess your love to your new spouse. Is there anything better? If you already feel overwhelmed or just aren’t sure where to start, take a breath and feel rest assured that you’re in the right place! We’ve rounded up all our best ceremony planning resources and guides to walk you through every step.

Setting The Foundation

There are few things more special and heartfelt than writing your wedding ceremony with your partner. This is the reason behind the entire celebration in the first place, so take extra care in crafting a ceremony that speaks to you as a couple. There are so many different ways of creating the perfect wedding ceremony and even more different tips and opinions. Start with these three basics to set a good foundation, and let the rest of the pieces fall naturally into place.

Order

Unless you’re having a religious or cultural wedding ceremony for which the order is set, the first step will be to figure out the order of your ceremony. Traditionally, a non-religious wedding ceremony would include these moments:

There are some obvious moments you absolutely cannot leave out, such as the vows, ring exchange, and first kiss. But most of the other moments can be changed, moved around, or removed entirely depending on your style and preferences. Think about what’s important to you and what kind of ceremony will be most impactful to you, and plan the order to fit that vision.

Themes

Your wedding ceremony should focus on at least three important themes: your past, your present, and your future as a couple. When planning your ceremony with your officiant, be sure to give them insight into each of these areas of your life so they can integrate those into the overall story they will tell. Keep your readings focused on those themes to continue that story throughout the entire ceremony. Give thanks to the people who have gotten you where you are, to the blessings you’re enjoying in the present, and be optimistic about what the future holds.

Timing

The sweet spot for a non-denominational wedding ceremony is between 20 and 25 minutes. If it’s shorter than 20 minutes, you’ll likely feel rushed, and your guests might leave feeling confused and disappointed. If it’s longer than 25 minutes, you run the risk of losing everyone’s attention. Try to stay within that window, and you’ll be golden.

Personalizing Each Moment

After you’ve set the foundation by figuring out the order, how to integrate your themes, and the timing, it’s time to personalize each moment of the ceremony. This includes the vows, the readings, the unity ceremony, the music, and even the grand exit. Most of these personalizations will be easier to implement in non-denominational weddings, but they can also be added to religious and cultural weddings. We’ve also provided some religious and culture-specific tips to add some personalization as well!

Vows

If you’ve followed us for a long time, you know that we strongly believe you really should write your own vows. That’s why we’ve gathered some unique tips for writing your wedding vows, along with 30 touching examples to use as a framework to make it as easy as possible. After all, the true purpose of your wedding day is to promise your lives to each other, and we think the best way to do that is in your own words.

That being said, some churches do require couples to recite a standard set of vows to make the wedding official. And, while there’s really no way to get around that, we do have a tip for couples who want a religious ceremony but also want to write their own vows: do both! During your wedding ceremony, recite the standard vows that your church requires. During your first look or post-ceremony portrait session, read the vows you wrote to each other. If there’s anything better than writing your own vows, it’s stepping away from the rush of the wedding day to read those vows privately with the love of your life. You’ll appreciate having that moment for just the two of you when all is said and done.

Junebug Tip: Looking for the perfect book to write those heartfelt words? Then you need one of these wedding vow books. They make the perfect souvenir from your big day that you can look back on for years to come.

Planning Your Wedding Ceremony Readings

Aside from writing your own vows, adding a ceremony reading is one of the best ways to personalize your wedding ceremony. Ask one or two family members or close friends to read passages that reflect your views on marriage and/or your hopes for the future. These can be totally unexpected wedding ceremony readings, such as quotes from movies or books, or they can be more traditional and classic, like one of your favorite romantic love poems. The key is to choose readings that fit the vibe of your day and the statement you two want to make about love and marriage.

Unity Ceremony

The unity ceremony serves as a visual representation of the couple joining their separate lives into one, which is why it usually takes place after the couple has exchanged vows. While this is not an official requirement for a wedding ceremony, it is a beautiful, symbolic way to come together as newlyweds. While many couples opt for the traditional candle lighting or unity sand ceremony–which we always love–a lot of couples are going the more non-traditional route with unity ceremonies that range from making a PB&J sandwich to taking a shot. If you’re looking for unique ideas, check out these 15 sweet and sentimental unity ceremonies from some of our favorite real weddings.

Music

The beauty of wedding ceremony music is that it can be as elaborate or as minimal as you want. You can also keep it super traditional or go out on a limb with whimsical, unexpected tunes. This is your opportunity to create a soundtrack for part of your life, so have fun with it! Here are a few key moments that most couples choose to highlight with music:

If music is a top priority for you and you plan to include it during your ceremony, we highly recommend you invest in live musicians. Even if ceremony music isn’t a high priority, we can’t talk enough about how special it is to have live music on your wedding day. Of course, if your budget doesn’t allow for it, or you’re planning to use just a processional and/or recessional song, a recording is a good alternative–just be sure to find someone reliable to press play.

wedding portrait after wedding ceremony

Image by Weddings Art

Planning Your Exit

There’s no better way to mark the end of your ceremony and the beginning of the party than with an unforgettable exit. Flower petals, confetti, sparklers, and bubbles are all great options for your guests to literally shower you with love as you walk–or dance–down the aisle as newlyweds. Just be sure to check with your venue to see if they have any restrictions or clean-up fees!

Religious and Cultural Considerations

If you’re planning a religious or culturally traditional wedding, you might think you have no room to personalize your ceremony. But, we’ve seen time and time again that, with a little creativity, most couples are able to find at least one way to make their ceremony their own. If, for example, you’re having a religious ceremony for which you can’t write your own vows and have to use readings from scripture, choose a totally unique and unexpected unity ceremony. If you’re following cultural traditions for your wedding, choose non-traditional music that is meaningful to your relationship. Just because you’re having a religious or traditional wedding ceremony doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to personalize it. You might just need to get a little creative.

Design & Décor

At long last, you’ve made it to the best part of planning your wedding ceremony: the design and décor. From arches and backdrops to welcome signs to aisle markers, there are so many details that go into transforming your venue into your perfect ceremony space. Yes, there’s a lot to consider, but we’ve got this wedding décor checklist to help you nail every detail. We’ve also broken down the key elements of your ceremony décor below.

Arches and Backdrops

Of all the decor you can add to your ceremony, arches and backdrops just might be the most important. Not only are they beautiful stand-alone pieces, but they frame the most important aspect of your entire day–you and your partner. We’ve seen everything from macrame to wood to wreaths to copper pipes. We may be biased, but we love them all! We could go on and on about how these small details make a world of difference for your ceremony, but we’d rather show you instead. Head over to our ceremony Pinterest board to see all of the arches and backdrops from our real weddings.

Seating

When choosing seating options for your wedding ceremony, be sure to consider both form and function. If you’re trying to achieve a specific look, get inspired by these unique ceremony chairs that are as beautiful as they are practical. When planning the space, do your guests a favor, and don’t try to pack the chairs as closely together as possible. Give everyone a little breathing room between each other and between the altar and the first row. You’ll also want to take into account the people sitting on the furthest sides or in the back row. Will they be able to see everything? If not, use a semi-circle or full-circle design rather than a straight-row design to ensure everyone has a clear view of the altar.

Once the chairs are set, it’s time to add some pretty dimension to that aisle. To elevate your ceremony space, check out these wedding aisle decor ideas.

Signage

While there is typically much less signage needed for a ceremony than for a reception, there are a few key signs you should try to include in your ceremony décor:

  • Welcome Sign – to greet your guests in style
  • Seating Sign – to let your guests know they don’t need to choose a side
  • Program Sign – if you’re not printing order-of-events programs
  • Unplugged Ceremony Sign – to politely remind your guests to put away their phones

For the full list of wedding signs to include on your big day, save this handy wedding sign checklist.

Mexico LGBTQ+ wedding

Image by Bruno Rezza

Programs

Wedding ceremony programs are totally optional, but they are a nice way to tell your guests what to expect and a bit about the wedding party. If you decide to print programs, they should include your names, the wedding date and location, names of your wedding party, officiant’s name, and the order of events. If you’re including traditions or readings you’d like to explain, this would be the place to do that, as well. Etsy and Minted have lots of beautiful, customizable templates to choose from.

Lighting

For most couples, their wedding ceremony will be lit by natural sunlight, either outside or through the windows of their venue. That’s why we recommend couples plan their wedding timeline around the sun. When tying the knot, you’ll want to be sure that you’re properly lit, that your photos will turn out beautifully, and that neither you nor your guests are blinded by the harsh sunlight.

If you’re planning an evening ceremony or your venue doesn’t provide sufficient natural light, you’ll need to ensure your venue does have other forms of lighting or you’ll need to add your own. If you’re not sure where to start, that’s okay. We’ve got the ultimate guide to wedding lighting to help you decide what’s right for you.

Final Thoughts on Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

We know that this is a lot of information, but we have just a few final tips to make sure your wedding ceremony goes off without a hitch:

  • Don’t forget the rings
  • Hand-write your vows rather than read from your phone – It will look better in photos, and you won’t risk feedback in the sound system
  • Get to know your officiant ahead of time — It will make you and them more comfortable, and they’ll be better prepared to personalize your ceremony
  • Hire someone to run the ceremony – Even if you don’t want a wedding planner or coordinator for anything else, trust us, you’ll want someone else keeping track of all the details and the timeline
  • Stay present – At some point during the ceremony, take a minute to breathe and look out at all the people who showed up to love and support you

We’re certain that this guide will help you plan your wedding ceremony in a way that exceeds your wildest dreams. You’ve got your ultimate checklist for the wedding; now it’s time to get to planning the perfect wedding reception!

Image by The Lavender Haze 

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26 Comments

  1. This is a great guide, very well written and thought out! I love all the little details about the ceremony order, very helpful!

  2. I am thankful that your article mentions the importance of showcasing the couple’s past, present, and future. My son is going to be married in a few months. I’ll be sure to send your article to him so that he can get some pointers on planning.

  3. Thanks for the great detail! It is both fun and overwhelming at the same time to set out what you want to happen on your wedding day. You want it, of course, to be fine, because it’s a special day. I can still remember that my husband offered me a proposal—that amazing feeling that is really inestimable.

  4. A small wedding is just small if it is as simple as possible for the guest list, and we are not sure how to break it down. My parents were looking for a wedding arranger that could help us prepare for our dream wedding. They agreed that we would configure every detail of the menu with a small team. And they have not failed us. My husband was also pleased and grateful.

  5. Of course you can start with less time in advance but the most recommended is one year as it will help you enjoy each moment and each task.

  6. I was not aware that there are so many stages to planning a wedding. I loved the images you have shared. The colour theme for the wedding décor is subtle yet stylish. I loved the way you have listed out the different aspects of wedding planning so that the reader knows exactly how to go about it.

  7. I agree with you. It is a daunting task to plan for a wedding. You have listed out every single detail for a wedding that will help every family. I have personally seen all the hassles people go through while planning a wedding and the fiascos that happen at our convention centre.

  8. I really enjoyed while reading this Guide for wedding ceremony and thanks for the great post,

  9. Thank you for sharing.

  10. Thanks for sharing this blog with us, very helpful and mind-blowing ideas. If anyone wants to enjoy the wedding rituals hassle-free.

  11. Congratulations

  12. Thanks for all the information. This would definitely be helpful for all the couples dreaming about their dream wedding. It is likely that you would miss any of the important details when you are planning your wedding.

  13. Thanks for letting me know that churches require couples to follow a standard set of vows. We’d like to write our own, so we’ll be erasing this venue from our options. I think it would be more intimate and private if we’ll just hold our special ceremony in a spacious mansion with our limited guests.

  14. Thanks for the tip about creating programs to tell your guests what to expect. My daughter is trying to plan her wedding for April, and she is currently working on the ceremony. I think it’d be good to get a program and some other things put together.

  15. Very useful info!

  16. Very useful info and nice couples!

  17. My parents were looking for a wedding arranger that could help us prepare for our dream wedding. They agreed that we would configure every detail of the menu with a small team. Thanks

  18. I really want a simple and intimate wedding in the future. This guide is very helpful!

  19. Great awesome thanks

  20. Thank you for nice information

  21. It got my attention when you said that your wedding program must include the name of the wedding officiant as well as the order of events. This is a good tip for my best friend who is getting married four months from now. She called me around 15 minutes ago to ask what she could have forgotten, so I will ask her to start finding a reliable wedding ceremony officiant.

  22. Wedding ceremony programs are totally optional, but they are a nice way to tell your guests what to expect and a bit about the wedding party. If

  23. It’s good to know the wedding ceremony programs can help the guests know what’s happening during the ceremony. My fiance and I are trying to plan the perfect summer ceremony. We’re still looking for an officiator, but these tips are super helpful!

  24. Thanks for sharing such a great thing.

  25. This is very educational content and written well for a change. It’s nice to see that some people still understand how to write a quality post!

  26. It was nice that you suggested giving a wedding officiant an insight into your past, present, and future as a couple so they can include them in the ceremony. This is what I will surely keep in mind and
    share with my boyfriend of 7 years since we are starting to plan our June wedding. We want our memories together to be the foundation of our wedding theme, so we will consider your tips.

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