Arissa and Bobby’s love story is full of serendipity, beginning in the same hospital in Portland, Maine, where they were both born. “It only made sense to have our wedding in the state where we were both born and raised.” Their journey started in high school through choir, though they weren’t high school sweethearts. After years of friendship, they began dating when Arissa graduated. “I was college-bound and academically driven above all else,” she recalls, while Bobby admired her dedication, adding, “I was too in love with her to break things off just because we would be long-distance.”
The couple endured years of long-distance during college, living together through Covid, and eventually settling in Boston. “Getting married wasn’t a given for us, but a happy mutual decision that further solidified our choice to spend the rest of our lives together.” A year before their wedding, they eloped to simplify things, allowing them to relax and save for their dream celebration with family and friends.
As a self-proclaimed type-A planner, Arissa had a clear vision for the wedding, with Bobby fully supporting her. “He knows that I am in my element when it comes to planning, details, and aesthetics…and allowed me the space to create that I craved.” Take a look at Arissa’s actual wedding Pinterest board—we’re blown away by her vision, to be honest. The couple also hired Toni of 631 Events, their day-of coordinator, to handle the logistics. “If anyone could be my trusted body double on my wedding day, it’s her.”
With a focus on sustainability and supporting local businesses, the couple carefully curated a celebration that honored their love, their roots, and their values. Keep reading to see how Arissa and Bobby brought their dream day to life, with insights you can apply to your own big day. Their wedding journey unfolds through the lens of Junebug vendor Antoinette Photography.
A Personalized Chinese Tea Ceremony
Arissa and Bobby’s wedding was not just about the big celebration—it was also about blending cultures and honoring traditions. They held a Chinese tea ceremony, a meaningful ritual in Chinese weddings that unites families. “We had a Chinese tea ceremony (not super traditional and adjusted for our needs).”
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Their custom-made wedding outfits, which Bobby’s family brought from China, featured a phoenix and dragon, symbols of balance, love, and prosperity. Red, a lucky color in Chinese culture, was prominently featured in the outfits, décor, and even the guests’ attire.
During the tea ceremony, the groom’s family was served first, followed by the bride’s family. “The family members gave us well wishes as they drank the tea and wished for a happy marriage, long life, and lots of babies (because a growing family is a positive thing),” Arissa shares.
While Bobby’s grandfather and father had passed, it was a heartwarming moment when his grandmother and mother received their tea. “I’m also so happy that even before we were married, I’ve been referred to by his family as his ‘wife’ and have been considered a part of the family for many years,” she adds.
One of the most unique aspects of Arissa and Bobby’s story was their decision to merge their last names into a new one: Shaw + Chang = Shang. The combined surname not only held deep personal meaning but also honored Bobby’s Chinese heritage by creating a name that could seamlessly fit within Chinese culture.
Rather than leaving the name change process to just one partner, they tackled it together—visiting the social security office, DMV, and bank side-by-side. What could have been a tedious task for one became a shared adventure, perfectly reflecting the partnership and equity that define their relationship.
A Dream Vintage Bride
As a vintage lover with a closet that’s about 85% vintage, Arissa knew a vintage wedding dress and accessories would be the perfect choice for her. However, finding a midsize vintage gown proved to be a challenge. After struggling to find a boutique that offered vintage options in her size, she discovered Coastal Bridal Boutique on Cape Cod, where the owner, Jessica, assured her that her dream dress was possible.
The ‘80s gown, featuring bold ruffles and a dramatic train, was carefully altered with ribbing, side panels, and removable puff sleeves, staying true to its vintage style while fitting Arissa beautifully.
Arissa wearing the veil from their elopement–a layered, satin-trimmed 80s veil with a pearl-covered comb–added an extra layer of meaning to the ceremony. “It felt like a lucky charm of confidence for our wedding celebration.”
“The shoes! I love John Fluevog shoes and how funky and unique they are,” Arissa shared. “Owning several pairs, I knew I wanted my wedding shoes to be made by them. I bought the last pair available in my size! Then I topped them off with vintage shoe clips that matched the organza and pearl details in my veil and dress.”
A Western Ceremony With Unforgettable Vows
The ceremony was a heartfelt and intimate affair, with a few unexpected moments that made it even more special. One of the most heartfelt moments of the day came during the couple’s vows, which turned out to be beautifully unexpected. Arissa shared how her husband, who’s typically more introverted, had told her before the wedding that he’d written his own personal vows, surprising her since they originally planned to use a pre-written draft. “It was another moment that made me wish I could marry him all over again.”
When it was time to read his surprise vows, Bobby admitted he’d forgotten to print them in the chaos of the wedding week. “He then proceeded to recite the most beautiful and sweet vows I have ever heard from memory and from instinct, all the while holding my hand as I smiled at him, never breaking eye contact.”
Inspired, Arissa decided to abandon her hastily written vows and spoke from the heart as well, creating an intimate and spontaneous exchange that had their guests laughing and tearing up. It was a perfectly imperfect moment that reflected their deep connection and love.
The couple opted for a “European-style” exit, with rose petals thrown by guests. “This was our photographer’s idea and one of the best choices for the wedding. Guests could get involved, we got amazing photos of the action, and it allowed strategic time for chairs to be put away and for the backstage prep for the reception to start since everyone was outside.”
The Reception and Couple Portraits
To save money, Arissa thrifted 90% of the decor, including trays, candlesticks, and plates. “I saved untold amounts of money by thrifting 90% of the decor—trays, candlesticks, ribbon, plates, and more,” she shares. With the venue’s character already in place, Arissa opted for a simpler approach. “I simply did not see the need to spend thousands of dollars on greenery or installations.” The vintage-inspired details fit perfectly with the venue, creating a seamless aesthetic.
A special and sustainable detail at Arissa and Bobby’s wedding was the use of dried flower petals as table decorations. Inspired by a TikTok she had seen, Arissa decided to save and dry all the petals from the flowers Bobby had brought home for her. “After about 14 months, I had over 4 gallons of dried petals,” she recalls. Despite telling Bobby that she didn’t need any more dried roses, he continued to surprise her with more, even going so far as to pull wilting stems to hang up and dry. “He was so committed to the idea of using the dried petals for the wedding. It was a small but sweet gesture that made me appreciate him even more.”
The couple decided to allocate much of their budget toward a delayed honeymoon to Japan. “Rather than spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a wedding that only lasts a day, we would rather spend that money on a delayed honeymoon trip to Japan, somewhere we have both wanted to visit since before we started dating. Money was rather spent wisely for our special day. Our biggest area of the budget was photography. And words cannot explain how incredibly worth it it was.”
Reflecting on their approach to the wedding, “We wouldn’t change a thing about it. Do what feels right for you. For us, having an elopement just for us, a mini honeymoon, a family holiday celebration in 2023, and a ‘proper’ wedding ceremony a year later was the perfect way to stretch our budget and enjoy the time and celebrations we needed.”
“Already being husband and wife, I didn’t feel for a second that our ‘wedding’ with our friends and family was any less special.” Celebrating their anniversary with loved ones only deepened the experience. Ultimately, their wedding was a celebration of their shared journey, reminding them that the most important thing is cherishing each other’s company, no matter the occasion.
The Wedding Team:Photography – Antoinette Photography
Day-of Coordination – Toni Marulli of 631 Events
Venue – Foss Mansion, Women’s Literary Union
Floral Design – Petali Flowers
Bouquet – Our Blessed Woods
Catering – Davinci’s Eatery
Cake – Grant’s Bakery
Live Music – Free Parking
Vintage Dress Boutique – Coastal Bridal Boutique
Bride’s Accessories – Vico Style
Bride’s Shoes – John Fluevog
Groom’s Attire – Suit Supply
Rings – Market Square Jewellers
Hotel Accommodations – Munroe Inn
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