While some parts of your wedding planning can be delegated to your planner or family members, writing your wedding vows is easily the most personal part of preparing for your day. Expressing your intimate emotions toward your partner–likely in front of a crowd of loved ones–can feel like a daunting task. Whether you’re struggling to come up with the inspiration to get started or having trouble finding the right words, these unique tips are sure to help you write wedding vows that your soon-to-be-spouse will never forget!
Six Unique Tips For Writing Your Wedding Vows
1. Spend a weekend watching your favorite shows and movies, reading your favorite books, and listening to your favorite music as a couple
If you’re the kind of couple who frequently uses movie quotes in regular conversation or exchanges weekly Spotify playlists, diving into your shared favorite media can be a great way to inspire your vows. If you really identify with a couple on your favorite show, compare yourselves to their relationship throughout your vows. Struggling to put your feelings into words? Quote your favorite novel, poem, or song lyrics and expand on the theme as your write.
2. Go on a couple’s retreat
Writing can be a challenge when there’s too much noise to focus on. Escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life and enjoy each other’s company in a secluded location. Rent an Airbnb or a cabin in the woods to spend a few days reflecting on your relationship and discussing the future. Your time as an engaged couple doesn’t last long, making this experience even sweeter.
3. Interview married couples you admire
Remember that writing your vows includes making promises to your partner for the future. To find out what makes a healthy marriage work, check in with couples whose marriages you look up to. The insight they share–whether it’s from one year of marriage or fifty–can be invaluable to your own marriage as well as your vows. Plus, how fun would it be to interview your parents, grandparents, or favorite married friends about their love and how their relationship has changed over the course of their marriage?
4. Meet up with the best man or maid of honor
While you may think that no one knows your partner as well as you do, there’s one person who might–their best man or maid of honor! Besides wanting to have a great friendship with this person who is so important to your future spouse, hanging out with them one-on-one may give you some ideas for what to write in your vows.
They could share a funny story you’ve never heard of your partner’s reaction to your first date or a memory from year’s past that slipped your mind. It can also be extremely special to hear how those close to you view your relationship and what they find so exceptional about your love.
5. Write each other love letters
Many wedding vows take the form of a love letter, so why not write some? Allow us to set the scene for you: you’re sitting together on the floor of your living room, back to back, giggling and/or crying as you write each other love letters that you won’t share until your wedding day. Can you think of anything more romantic? Because we sure can’t!
To make your love letter a little more personal, write it down in a customized vow book. We love what Junebug member Autumn Lynne Photography had to say about the idea,” I feel very strongly that writing your vows should start with finding a customize booklet to write them in. This will create a keepsake of your vows and ensure that they don’t end up as a crumpled piece of paper in the back of a drawer. I regret not writing my own vows in a booklet because now I have no idea where they are. Being able to revisit your promises to each other is important to your relationship as a married couple.
Having your vows written in a book also creates beautiful images during your ceremony. A vow book is sturdy and gives you something strong to hold onto while you are exchanging vows. We all get nervous, and a shaking piece of notebook paper isn’t something you want captured in your wedding photos.”
Recommended Reading: 41 Wedding Vow Books to Fill With Your Love
6. Tell someone who doesn’t know the story of how you met or the moment you knew they were “The One”
Most of the people in your life probably know the story of how you met your fiance, but retelling it to someone who has never heard it can be pretty magical. Recalling all of the little things that brought you together–knowing what you know now–makes your story feel like the greatest fairytale ever told. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself laughing or even crying, especially if you share the moment you realized this was the person you wanted to spend your whole life with!
The experience of recounting your relationship history can play an interesting role in crafting your vows, as you have a recent refresher on the timeline of your love. Not to mention, you’re probably giddy with the same butterflies you had way back when which can be the perfect touch to your heartfelt vows.
Still aren’t sure if you want to read traditional vows or write your own? Here are some pros and cons of writing your wedding vows to consider!