Choosing Your Best Man

August 5, 2009 | editorial team

As a woman there are oh-so-many things that Im positive I dont know about the male mind, but one thing I am sure of is that a grooms choice of the best man at his wedding means a lot, in so many different ways. Whether its your best friend, brother, cousin or even father, anyone who you love, trust and are proud to have by your side can be your chosen guy. Because being the best man is a great honor as well as a big responsibility, do look for someone whos reliable and energetic, with time to commit to helping you throughout the wedding planning process. When you ask your best buddy to take on the job, be direct about the tasks and activities youre hoping hell participate in, and show your gratitude for his help all along the way.

Choosing your best man for your wedding, Image by Sean Flanigan
(Toasting groomsmen image by Sean Flanigan Photography)

The traditional responsibilities of your best man usually include the following. Use this list as a reference point and add and subtract duties specific to your wedding and personal style:

  • Your best man will help coordinate with the other groomsmen so everyones on the same page. Hell attend formal wear fittings and be sure each of your guys has all the information they need for the bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, and other events.
  • Hell plan and host your bachelor party. Be sure to tell him in advance what kind of party youre hoping to have, and if there are activities that you or other attendees are not excited about. (Bachelor parties can range from mild to wild, so straightforward communication can be a big help in avoiding uncomfortable situations!)
  • His traditional expenses are his wedding day attire, your bachelor party, and a wedding gift. If youre having a destination wedding or bachelor party, or want him to purchase his clothing instead of renting it, let him know well in advance to be sure this is something he can swing financially.
  • On the big day hell make sure the groomsmen show up on-time and on-task, stand by your side and hold your brides ring during the ceremony, sign your marriage license, give a toast at the reception, dance with your new wife, and assist and socialize with guests to keep the party flowing.
  • Hell be your businessman, getting things done. Delegate duties to your best man like delivering payments to vendors on the day of the wedding, collecting wedding gifts and making sure they get transported to your home, returning rental tuxes, and driving you to your hotel after the reception, or to the airport for your honeymoon.

Choosing your best man for your wedding
(Best man and groomsmen images by Sean Flanigan Photography, Laurel McConnell Photography, Alyssa Nicol Photography, GH Kim Photography, John and Joseph Photography, Laurel McConnell Photography, Yvette Roman Photography)

For much more groom related information including proposal stories, creative wedding planning ideas, honeymoon travel destinations, simple advice and men’s fashion inspiration, don’t miss our Groombug section!

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  1. Thanks ladies! I sent this article on to my shy guy so he can send it on to his best man. He hates asking for things and this makes it easier.

  2. this is such great info! It is quite good to know what exactly a groomsmen should do. You never really think about that.

  3. Good stuff – I got the chance to be a best man earlier this year and it was a blast. :)

  4. It’s funny that you chose that image of groom’s toasting because that best man gave the BEST toast at the reception. It is legendary among those who attended the wedding (which just happens to be mine).

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