WEDDING BLOG

Lena and Koen had always pictured getting married in Italy. Then they visited Chateau Neercanne in the Netherlands and found a little street winding through the property, multiple spaces that could take guests through each part of the day, and, most unexpectedly, marl caves built into the hillside. They viewed exactly one venue and booked it.

Inside the caves, candlelight flickered against rough stone walls while videos from their lives played before the ceremony. Later, 50 guests sat down for a three-hour dinner, opened personal letters waiting at their places, and followed a saxophonist straight from dinner to the dance floor. It was the kind of destination atmosphere Lena and Koen had been looking for, without asking everyone they loved to leave the country. 

What We Love About This Chateau Neercanne Wedding

• Home videos projected onto the cave walls before the ceremony
• A ring warming that ended with their mothers handing them the rings
• A pub quiz organized by friends while Lena and Koen took portraits
• Handwritten letters waiting at the table for every guest
• A regional music battle complete with flags carried by the newlyweds

Finding the Destination Wedding Atmosphere They Wanted Close to Home

A wedding abroad had been the original idea, but finding a venue at home that gave Lena and Koen the same atmosphere made the logistics much easier. The property didn’t read as particularly Dutch to them. Instead, its architecture and narrow street reminded them of somewhere in the South of France or Italy.

Then they saw the caves. “We ultimately fell in love with the caves that were connected to the venue,” they shared. “No venue could ever top that combination. So, we simply viewed one venue, fell in love and booked it.”

Staying in one place didn’t mean spending the entire day in the same setting. Different areas hosted each part of the wedding, so guests could move from one space to another without traveling between locations.

It also helped them save on decor. They loved the property as it was, so there was little need to add much more.

Knowing Which Wedding Expenses They Didn’t Want to Compromise On

Lena and Koen took on the planning without a planner, turning to Pinterest, Instagram, wedding blogs, and plenty of Google searches. They didn’t already have a network of wedding vendors to call, so building their team involved online meetings, portfolios, reviews, and a lot of instinct.

“No specific criteria, mostly just a gut feeling,” they explained. “Luckily, we couldn’t be happier with the team we picked.” Photography was one expense Lena had decided on long before the rest. Junebug vendor Stance Photography was actually the first vendor they searched for, even before finding their venue. Videography became another priority once they found a filmmaker whose work they loved, and they adjusted the budget to make room for both.

Their final budget ended up 25 percent higher than the number they originally had in mind. They made the adjustment early, though, and stuck to the revised amount for the rest of planning. Taking on the work themselves was intense enough that Lena describes it as essentially having another full-time job. Surprisingly, she misses it.

A  Cave Ceremony Illuminated by  Candlelight

Much of the decor throughout the day was DIY, including menus, a welcome flag, candles, and even the chairs they brought in instead of using the venue’s existing ones. Large floral installations were one of the exceptions.

Lena loves flowers and initially couldn’t imagine the wedding without plenty of them. But inside the caves, flowers and candles together began to seem like too much. Their florist agreed that additional flowers weren’t needed for the ceremony, so the couple scaled back.

Guests entered through a candlelit space where videos from Lena and Koen’s lives were projected directly onto the rough cave walls with piano music playing. The couple saved their own first look for the aisle, but had separate first looks with family beforehand. Koen saw his mom, while Lena shared hers with her mom, niece, and grandmother. They had been unsure whether her grandmother would be able to attend, which made having her there all the more special. She passed away just six weeks later.

A Meaningful Moment Before Saying I Do

During the ceremony, Lena and Koen included a ring warming. Their rings passed from person to person among family members and the bridesmaids, with each person holding them briefly before sending them along. Their mothers eventually handed the rings back to the couple.

Koen hadn’t been entirely convinced about including the ritual beforehand. It ended up being one of his favorite parts of the ceremony.

“Now getting to wear these rings every day knowing they all held them is extra special,” they shared, including Lena’s grandmother among the family members who had held the rings that day.

Featured Vendor:
Stance Photography

Keeping Guests Busy While They Stepped Away for Portraits

Skipping a pre-ceremony first look created one small logistical problem: Lena and Koen still needed time for couple portraits later in the day. They didn’t want their guests standing around waiting for them to return.

Their solution was to recruit three friends to host a pub quiz about them. Lena and Koen missed the whole thing, something they joke still gives them “massive FOMO.” According to everyone who was actually there, guests got highly competitive. The mixed teams also put people together who might not otherwise have spent much time talking before the reception.

By dinner, another surprise was waiting. Lena and Koen had written an individual letter for every guest and placed them at their seats.

Making Time for a Long Dinner They Love

Long dinners with friends are something Lena and Koen already love, so they gave dinner a full three hours in the wedding timeline.

They had worried that three hours might be pushing it. Instead, guests settled around long tables for food, speeches, wine, and conversation. Despite having 50 people there, the dinner retained the atmosphere of one of the long meals the couple enjoys with friends.

One guest later told them his cheeks hurt from laughing so much. There was also a plan for the newlyweds to make their reception entrance in a 1956 Mercedes 190SL. Immediately after the ceremony, its transmission broke down.

Their coordinator quickly reorganized the entrance so Lena and Koen could walk in instead. The Mercedes was eventually pushed into place for photographs, meaning they got the pictures even if they never got the drive. “In the end, it is a good story,” they said.

Guiding Everyone Straight From Dinner to the Dance Floor

After three hours at the table, Lena and Koen had a saxophonist appear as a surprise and lead everyone from dinner into the party area. There wasn’t much opportunity for an after-dinner lull.

The DJ also had something prepared specifically for their families and friends. Lena and Koen come from different parts of the Netherlands, each with its own particular music style. They asked the DJ to mix songs from both regions into a music battle between the two sides of the room.

Lena and Koen joined in, walking around the dance floor carrying flags representing their respective regions.

A photo booth stayed open during the party, giving guests something else to do and leaving the couple with digital photographs of nearly everyone, including plenty taken after their photographer had finished for the night.

How the Couple Turned A Stressful Process Into an Enjoyable One

For Lena and Koen, some of the best parts of planning came from treating wedding tasks like dates. “Enjoy the process! Yes, it will be stressful. And yes, it will be a lot,” they said. “But it is also an amazing time, which I could have never imagined before getting engaged.”

Their practical suggestion is to make the errands part of it. Add champagne to the cake tasting. Have a nice lunch when visiting the venue. Find small reasons to make the appointments themselves something to look forward to.

One of their favorite planning dates involved choosing a perfume for each other to wear at the wedding. They plan to bring those scents back out for their anniversaries.

And when the celebration was over, they didn’t try to squeeze in another elaborate event. The next morning, some of their guests joined them for brunch. Everyone was nursing a hangover, talking through what had happened the day before, and getting the chance to say a proper goodbye.